I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Randomize
