another moral hangover. fuck.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
