he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize