A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
