I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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