PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
