I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
