When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize