hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
