how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
