Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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