I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
