I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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