Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
"it" just moved
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
