dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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