WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
did i just pee glitter
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
