K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Buhtt sex?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
