The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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