I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
