yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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