we have officially lost it.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
