The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
pray to the hookup gods
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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