did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
