Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
