i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
