So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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