1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Need sex. Gaining weight.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize