I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
