Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
