I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
