I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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