Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
