Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just had sex bonerless
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize