I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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