you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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