I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
