I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
