Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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