I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
