Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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