I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
soo... how was my night?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
