Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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