I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I have post one night stand depression
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