What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
