I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
