All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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