He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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