when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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