Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
