So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
