I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
