You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
