Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize