Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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