he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I am one with the molecules
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize