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I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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